3 Reasons We Interrupt — How to Do It Better

by Madelaine Weiss | Sep 29, 2025 | Emotion, Leadership, Mind Mastery, Success, Talking | 0 comments

Table of Contents

• Why it’s Not Always Rude — Especially if Someone’s Wired for Depth.
• 1. They’re Reaching for Depth, Not Attention
• 2. They’re Afraid of Losing the Thought
• 3. They’re Seeking Emotional Connection
• So It’s Not Always Rude — It’s Often Real

Why it’s Not Always Rude — Especially if Someone’s Wired for Depth.

The other day, I interrupted someone mid-sentence. She was talking — I can’t remember what it was about — when we walked right past a jazz club in our neighborhood that I’d noticed many times but never visited. Without thinking, I blurted, “Have you ever been there?”

It wasn’t meant to be rude, although her stiffening clearly indicated she was not happy to have been cut off that way. Later, I reflected on it and don’t believe that I was trying to hijack the conversation — but rather was trying to rescue it — and possibly guide it somewhere more alive.

Fyi, there are studies showing how unsatisfactory many participants find conversation to be. And, it turns out, a lot of people interrupt — not to be rude, but to reach for something more meaningful. So while it is often labeled a conversational no-no, context and intent matter. Not all interruptions are created equal.

Here are three surprising reasons people interrupt — and a few ways to do it better, with more awareness and grace.

1. They’re Reaching for Depth, Not Attention

Sometimes an interruption comes from two directions at once.

• Unconscious: a restless reflex to cut things short. Introverts especially can get antsy on the surface of things — small talk can feel like noise they need to escape.
• Conscious: a deliberate pull toward something richer. Introverts are wired for depth, so when they sense the chance for a more meaningful exchange, they may jump in to suggest a shift. That jazz club, for example, wasn’t just a landmark. It was a doorway into something potentially richer to share than, let’s say, a story about a friend’s friend from five years ago.

Seen this way, it isn’t about grabbing attention but about guiding the moment toward depth.

A more intentional approach:
→ “Could we pause here for a sec? There’s something I’d love to ask you about where we are when you’re finished.”
This can make the redirection feel like an invitation instead of an intrusion.

2. They’re Afraid of Losing the Thought

For deep thinkers or anyone who processes a lot internally — ideas often flash in and out quickly. Breaking in can be less about impatience and more about urgency: the need to hold on to something important before it vanishes.

A helpful alternative:
→ Jot the thought down or mentally bookmark it. Then return later with:
“Can I circle back to something you said earlier? It really stuck with me.”
This signals respect, while still honoring the spark.

3. They’re Seeking Emotional Connection

Not every interruption is about ideas. Sometimes it’s about the emotional current. The conversation may have plenty of substance but still feel flat — like two people talking at each other instead of with each other.

In that case, it isn’t only about experiential depth (#1). It’s about making the moment warmer, more human. It’s a way of saying: “I want us to feel connected while we talk.”

A graceful shift:
→ “That’s interesting — what does it mean for you?”
This reorients the exchange toward presence and personal connection, rather than just continuing the flow of information.

So It’s Not Always Rude — It’s Often Real

Sure, some interruptions are careless or self-centered. But many come from a very human place — a desire to contribute, to connect, to make the moment matter.

Especially for those who think deeply and feel intensely, the urge to influence the direction of the conversation may come, not from the ego, but from the heart.

It helps to distinguish, then, between interruption as ego and interruption as engagement. When the goal is meaningful connection with ideas and people, the key isn’t silence — it’s sensitivity.

People don’t necessarily need to stop entirely. They may just need to interrupt better.

So next time someone interrupts — or next time you do — it might be worth asking:
Was that a disruption?
Or an invitation?

For help with this or something else, contact me at weissmadelaine@gmail.com

I’m working on it too. 😊

Love,

Madelaine

Photo by Freepik